Seasons

My heart is hurting so!!! Today DHS called to say they would be picking Lizzie up to take her to her relatives... We had 4 hours to get her packed up and say goodbye. I had SO much to do yet all I wanted to do was soak up every moment I had left with her, to smell her sweet head and see her sparkly brown eyes light up. Thankfully, she was down for her nap when I got the call so I was able to pack up all her things while I sobbed. Does she feel like mine because she's a baby and counted on me for her every need, or is it that we picked her up from the hospital so battered and broken that we thought she would always be safe with us, is it that she learned to walk before our very eyes, or that she is feisty and bright and beautiful just like our Kymi, or that our whole family adores her (with the exception of Tru when she is grabbing HIS toys, "MINE!!!!")?? I am not sure why, but, the bond is stronger than I ever thought possible for one that is not "my own". I guess that is the pain of being a foster mama...they are not my own... For that matter though, neither are David and Kymi. They are God's too, placed in my arms for just a short while. I must remind myself of this once again...to once again entrust them to the capable & loving plans of my Jesus...KNOWING that He loves each one more than I ever could, THANKING Him for the awesome privilege of being their mama!!! Loving is tough tonight. As the waves of sorrow continue to rush over me I pray that our Lizzie is feeling safe in her new home, that she will be well loved, that she will always know that Jesus loves her, that He is her protector... I know she won't remember us, but, I believe the love & safety she felt in our home are forever stitched into the fiber of her being!! I picked the kids up early from school so they could say goodbye and have one last celebration of her. They cried and held her, played with her, colored her a picture for her take with her and together we came up with this list that is...

Our Lizzie
We're gonna miss her!
She loves playing with the manger
She learned to walk here
She had her first birthday with us
She grew her first 2 teeth
She loves snuggling stuffies, especially the glow snail from Grammy
She is SO cute!
She loves for Kymi (& David) to carry her
Her beautiful brown eyes sparkle
We love her SO much!
We pray for her
She loves crawling in the recycling box
She gets in the trash lots (it is just her height)
Patty-cake can always make her stop fussin'
She tries to copy everything we say (especially Tru!)

Goodbye, baby girl! Even though we had you with us for a short while we will love you and pray for you always!!!